A Professional's Response to Dear Evan Hansen
*Spoiler Alert.. Themes of Dear Evan Hansen Discussed
Let me begin by saying…. I love Broadway (as in theatre, not the tourist filled Honky Tonk street in Nashville). I have lost myself in musicals whether it be obsessively watching and rewatching Oliver Twist and the Newsies as a child or finding myself sitting at the theatre for something new. Take me to the theatre and I am a happy person.
Unfortunately, on my way to work every day I now see a billboard advertising the arrival of Dear Evan Hansen to Nashville….. and it makes me sick.
A couple years ago, when I was away “relaxing” in New York at the International Society of Trauma and Dissociation conference, I took an evening away to Broadway to see the biggest show at the time- Dear Evan Hansen. Already spending every waking conference hour discussing trauma, depression, and suicide, I was ready to lose myself in a Broadway musical and enjoy life. Instead… I was horrified and disgusted….and that's at best.
The fact is that 1 in 5 American high school students have seriously contemplated taking their own life. My devestation with this show is that suicide is the second leading cause of death amongst adolencents in Tennessee….. and this wildly popular show, turned movie and traveling money maker, takes a struggle that 20% of adolescents report dealing with and pretends that it is ok. Mental health in general is a sensitive topic and (in my educated opinion) this show does more harm than good. Dear Evan Hansen could have brought awareness and understanding, education and normalization to the topic of feeling suicidal. And instead…. I need you to know it did not.
I felt myself having a full body response simply typing that. As much as I love theatre……and avoiding confrontation…. I did not feel that as a mental health professional, and as a human, I could welcome this show into my city, the city I have devoted my life to working with and advocating for the mental health of our community, without speaking against the Tony Award winning, super popular, making millions of dollars Broadway show that I believe to be doing an incredible disservice to the mental health of many.
For almost 20 years I have spoken the language of suicide. Whether it be learning, counseling, training, in crisis moments or grieving suicide, mental health and sucidality are my everyday. And although I do not feel it was done in malice, this is why I know that Dear Evan Hansen got it wrong. Just so wrong. This musical created a world that exploited, manipulated and devalued the human experience. Dear Evan Hansen made a joke of a tragic loss, so this is my PSA/trigger warning to approach this show with caution.
Throughout the show I was surprised by the flippant disregard for loss of life -while celebrating Evan- who was benefitting socially, manipulating survivors of suicide (those who have lost someone to suicide) and buildling a platform of popularity off of a complete lie. Now while I recognize that Evan was being bullied and struggling himself, this does not excuse exploitation of someone else’s struggle. As a professional I am wondering where the collaboration was from writers and producers to handle the plot of suicidal ideation and loss from an evidence based, empathetic, to do no more harm than good perspective. This show had the potential, and the resources, to do so much good…..
The show had no warning. Great music, little class. No advanced notice that suicide, depression, gaslighting and grief will be a part of the show. This show idealized that Evan can rise to popularity and enter a romantic relationship all after misleading others after a high school student has died by suicide. This is brushed over. Let that sit for a second… a high school child has taken their life and we make a mockery of his loss with Dear Evan Hansen. The glamorization of sucide and and the way this loss is handled is contrary to any evidence of how to handle a loss by suicide….. the death of a child after a struggle with their mental health. As a mental health professional I am mad, and as a human and mother I am sad.
When there is a loss by suicide, specifially in a school, we want to honor life that was lost, provide space for those that are grieving as well as those that might have similar feelings of pain. We want to work to provide a space of respect and understanding for everyone impacted. And everyone that knows or knows of a child that dies by suicide is impacted. From family and friends to teachers and bus drivers, food staff and librarians, the loss of someone to suicide turns any community upside down.
Nashvillians… as this show enters our city, please know we can do better. We can support the arts AND mental health. We can support each other through the hard without lies and manipulation. If you have tickets to the show, if you watch the movie, if your KIDS are watching this show, please have the “hard” but oh so necessary conversations about mental health. Know that there are friends and family and professionals that can provide space and processing, support and healing and we don’t have to take the basis of this popular show as fact of what is truly good and real and healthy.
Executive Director, and person ready to talk about suicide
*If you or anyone you know are dealing with thoughts of suicide, self harm, depression or any other mental health symptom, please reach out. It is hard. There are resources to help. We can do tough stuff scared.
*https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/
*Call 1-800-273-Talk