by Heather Canonico

With the holidays right around the corner and a nationwide teacher shortage, we can safely expect a continuing rise in our young people’s anxiety and stress. In fact, anxiety in children and adolescents is already at an all-time high. However, the prevalence of anxiety does not make it any less of a scary or confusing experience for the child or adolescent. Oftentimes, kids don’t quite understand what is going on when anxiety symptoms arise. It is not until the realization that the child is visiting the nurse every day for stomachaches, or a concerned parent calls explaining the struggle of getting their child to school every morning, that it is made clear that the child is experiencing anxiety and needs support. 

After reflecting on my experience of interning at a middle school and doing my own research, it is clear that this generation of kids is experiencing anxiety outside of the typical range—and it makes sense as to why this is the case. From social media and school shootings to hypothetical nuclear wars and a worldwide pandemic, children and adolescents have been overwhelmed by a plethora of unprecedented stressors. They have quite literally grown up in a time of uncertainty and seemingly consistent trauma. So as a caregiver or parent to a child or adolescent, the million-dollar question is: How can I help my anxious kid?

Truth is, there is no “right” answer or magic wand that can make anxiety go away overnight. However, it is important to recognize that anxiety looks different for everyone and to be aware of the numerous tools and resources available to help a child make sense of their anxiety. What works for one kid, may not work for another. Therefore, the first thing you can do to support an anxious child is to educate yourself on the numerous ways that anxiety can manifest. Learn about common triggers and symptoms so that you can better understand your child’s anxiety. By doing this, you may notice common themes and help your child implement coping skills so that they can better manage their anxiety.

Next, it is important that you do not avoid whatever it is that is making your child anxious. This reinforces their fears and can create a slippery slope where kids learn that avoidance is the answer to their problems. This can bring a child relief in the short-term but will end up hurting them in the future. 

Finally, listen to your child, and don’t always go into problem-solving mode. Parents and caregivers can be quick to try to rescue their kid, but rescuing may not be what they need. Listening to your child with an open ear, without immediately offering solutions can be very therapeutic for a child. Validate their feelings without reinforcing their anxiety. This can be a delicate balance, but it lets your child know that you recognize that their fear is very real, while simultaneously letting them know that you are there and support them.