by Matt Blumhard

When Goals Hold Us Back 

Every January, many of us take part in setting New Year’s resolutions: goals or changes we hope to accomplish in the coming year. Whether it's losing weight, saving money, learning a new skill, or just getting better at texting back our friends, these goals provide us with a sense of direction and purpose. However, a problem often emerges from the rigid nature of these goals. They can be limiting, binary, and sometimes even set us up for failure. Consider the classic example of a fitness resolution. While the goal may be to complete a particular event or reach a set weight, the road there is often filled with inflexible rules, strict diets, and unforgiving workouts. These cruel taskmasters provide little support or joy in moments when our goal still seems far off and may even paradoxically drive us to turn back to former habits. This focus on an end, rather than a manner of being, has the potential to limit our imagination and the fullness of life we can experience. The emphasis on the result leaves little room for the richness of the process. 

Embracing Values

Alternatively, we can consider the idea of values. These are the guiding principles that reflect what truly matters to us in life – our deepest desires and the kind of person we want to become. Imagine if, instead of fixating on reaching a particular weight or running some number of miles, your focus shifted to the value of health. This shift allows for a more flexible and compassionate approach. It's not about adhering to a strict regimen but making choices that align with your value of overall well-being. While goals can be rigid and confining, values are like dancing along to the rhythm of life. They allow us to adapt, grow, and find meaning in every step, irrespective of the destination. Goals may change, be achieved, or be abandoned, but values persist. They provide a compass for our journey, guiding us through the twists and turns, ups and downs. By embracing our values, we open ourselves to a world of possibilities, unburdened by the fear of falling short of a predefined goal.

Living by Values in the New Year:

1. Evaluate if your current goals are too rigid or limiting and honestly appraise their impact on your overall well-being.

2. Through reflection, journaling, or talking with friends, consider the kind of person you want to be and what you may want to serve as guiding principles in your life. 

3. Practice a more flexible and compassionate approach to personal growth, using goals and milestones within the context of personal values.

Following Our Compass

As we embark on this new year, take a moment to reflect on your values – those principles that define the essence of who you are. Instead of setting resolutions, imagine intentions that align with your values. Allow them to be the guiding force that shapes your choices, actions, and ultimately, your life. In the tapestry of the new year, let's weave a narrative of purpose, authenticity, and fulfillment. Embrace your values, live with flexibility, and watch as the unfolding chapters of your life become a masterpiece painted with vibrant hues of authenticity and purpose. Cheers to a year guided by values – a year of mindful living, meaningful connections, and a richer experience of the journey of life.