Having trouble reaching your goals?
Goal setting is an important aspect of carrying out our responsibilities, self-improvement, as well as healing. We set goals to eat healthier, get in better shape, be sober, make friends, be vulnerable, find a significant other, improve relationships, raise good kids, change careers, get a promotion, learn to sew, start a garden, and the list goes on. Some goals are short term and some require more commitment.
Although we may be pretty good at setting goals, we don’t always do a good job of reaching them. On the contrary, we often find that we don’t have a six pack, our bedroom is cluttered, we haven’t gotten that 6 figure job, and we haven’t become the Mozart we know we can be, or the ultimate fighter yet.
So what is stopping you?
Valid reasons, I am sure. It might be long work hours, family obligations, or other commitments leaving you little time or energy left. It could be anxiety, fears, or low self-esteem. The unfortunate reality is whether our reasons are valid or not, we cannot reach our goals without taking the proper action to complete them.
Here are 4 major considerations to help you reach your goals:
1) Dedicate the time
Dedicate spare time to those actions required to meet your goal. For example, if your goal is to get in shape, you are more likely to succeed if you are dedicating spare time in the form of regular scheduled physical activity, than sedentary activities or any other activity that is not in line with your goals.
Active examples:
Get a gym membership and attend for several hours, 2-3 days a week to work out or attend group classes.
Join a team sport where you train and play games several times a week.
If you are low on funds, there are many free resources available online that can help you with just about any goal you set for yourself. Schedule time to involve yourself in whatever goal you wish to reach.
Passive examples:
Park as far as safely possible when going to any store or event
Take the stairs instead of the elevators
Ride a bike when possible instead of taking your car
Walk your dog more frequently, or after a meal with others
2) Choose who you spend time involved with
It is helpful to interact and be around others who share the same goal or goals. They can be a source of knowledge, support and/or inspiration. If your goal is to become a Gardener, spending time involved with other Gardeners will help you avoid and manage common issues as you share information and experiences related to the garden.
Example:
Animals and pests can sometimes help themselves to some of the fruits of your labor. Talking with an experienced Gardener or joining a gardening specific forum might help you manage or avoid dealing with them before you lose any of your plants.
Avoid comparing yourself negatively to others. Be inspired by the progress others completed in reaching their own goals, not discouraged by the difference in your current situation to theirs.
Instead of dwelling on any negative feelings brought on by the fact your tomato plants got demolished by Tomato Hornworms, and your friend's tomato plants are putting out 30lbs of the most delicious tomatoes you have ever tasted, work through the feelings, reach out for support, and be inspired. Learn what you can from their prior failures and current success and maybe next year, you will be doing the same.
3) Take small persistent actions for growth
Continuous small actions are effective at moving you closer to accomplishing your goal. It may be slow and you might not be very good, but know you will eventually get there as progress builds. Accept that you will not be amazing at it for a little while and in some cases until you reach the goal.
For example, if your goal is to be a decent piano player, playing 15 minutes a day or learning one chord a week, will get you closer than not playing piano at all because you can’t play Liszt’s Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2. You may go a few months without being able to impress others with your skills but within enough time, that will change and you won’t even recognize how far you have come.
4) Celebrating your progress
It is important to celebrate small milestones and reward the ongoing effort, especially with longer term goals to maintain or increase the positive feelings associated with the goal.
Rome wasn’t built in a day so don’t have unreal expectations of yourself and your goals. It can be healthy to push your bounds beyond what you think you are capable of but make sure you also give yourself the necessary amount of grace to account for failure and hiccups. Allow for growth, allow for healing, allow for failure, and keep moving forward. Change is never easy.
If you are having trouble reaching your goals, and need support, whether short term or long term, our team can help you reach whatever goals you set out for yourself. I encourage you to reach out.