by Blake Howard

Compassion is something that we hear about all the time. It is something we hope to hold, to demonstrate, and to receive. Compassion is when we not only feel empathy for others, but also a yearning to help them. One could think of compassion as the step further past empathy and that little extra pull of the heart and soul to want to help or relieve that pain in some way. While compassion is such a strength, it is important to remember that compassion can and should be directed towards ourselves as well. 

I see people in my office and in my world all of the time who are capable of and show so much compassion towards other people, but not themselves. There are luckily so many kind people in this world who feel this immense connection and emotion towards the world around them. Sometimes this can become overwhelming and draining. The desire to help others can begin to take a toll one one’s capacity to also take care of themselves and be kind to themselves. There is so much pain and hardship in our world, and we are constantly exposed to others' struggles. This can create a beautiful space for human connection and support. This can also create a weight and burden to carry. As this happens we have to remember that we are also feeling this compassion fatigue and need to also care for ourselves. 

We need to take a break sometimes and take stock of the energy we are putting towards ourselves. Are we directing any compassion and love towards ourselves? Are we being harsh and critical of ourselves? Are we pushing ourselves too hard?

I have asked people: “Do you talk to others the way you speak to yourself?” Usually the answer to this is “no.” For some reason we feel like it is okay to be less kind to ourselves and allow this inner-critic to take over and not show compassion or empathy. 

Take a moment to think about why one may be okay with speaking to themselves in a negative way in which they would never direct towards someone else. I then ask you to show yourself the compassion that you show to others. It is not easy, we are usually our own toughest critic, so as this happens let’s combat that and introduce more self-compassion into our lives.