We all have a unique and powerful story that can sometimes feel controlling and overwhelming. More times than not, our expectation is that the changes we experience in life can be measured by tangible goods. Our success is measured by the amount of dollars we have in our bank account, the size of our home, and the car we drive. Our worth is measured by the number on a scale and the weight we can squat in a functional fitness class. The status of our relationship elicits a belief that we are social, well-liked, and loved. Our stories host a myriad of narratives that tell us we can show people who we are. In therapy, the exact opposite can be true.

I have heard it from almost every single one of my clients… this feeling as if they’re not making progress because they have “nothing to show for it.” The narrative engrossed with unless we can show a shiny new object, we must be the same. For these reasons (and some others), during my intake process, I make a point to talk about this. Inevitably, based on my experience, this belief circles back around throughout the process of psychotherapy. Therapy is intangible. We cannot hold it in our hands, or show it off with a material item. It is what makes it the most beautiful thing, and quite honestly, the most frustrating.

Therapy is an emotionally exhausting process. Personally speaking, I have left therapy feeling both elated and clear-headed, AND exhausted to the point that the only thing that will cure me is a huge glass of red wine and chorizo. We aren’t capable of holding emotional exhaustion in our hands. It doesn’t manifest in our lives as a clay pot or a certificate. It is an unexplainable phenomenon that is incredibly effective (scientifically proven - also, I’m biased). Truth be told, the emotional exhaustion is worth the change in trajectory of your life, mine included.

What you do learn in therapy, however, is that the self-awareness journey allows you to become increasingly aware of the changes that are happening. Whether you have some monumental breakthrough, or simply notice the differences in your day to day.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk about why therapy is useful and why change doesn’t always have to be something you show to others. It can be just for you.

Imagine that…

Authored by: Jess Mattson, M.S., LPC-MHSP (temp)